Whenever I find myself getting sad, I want to lose myself in a book, in a tale, I want to lose myself in profundity…I want to remind myself there is more beyond my world. This time I didn’t have a book so I turned to a TV show called, Being Erica, Maybe it would do the trick. It’s about the life of a lady called Erica (well,the title somewhat betrays the plot) who’s smart,beautiful and amazing but everything in her life seems to go wrong. Considering the kind of situations I’ve passed through these past two days, I could say, I related to it. Erica is approached by a self- proclaimed therapist who has the ability to teleport her into the past so as to rectify moments that she thought influenced her unfortunate future ( It’s not as tacky as it sounds). In doing this, he tries to make her understand that she has the choice to not let her past influence her future. Before this column turns into a TV show review, this is what I’m trying to say. Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.
Yesterday was one of the hardest days of my life. I kept stumbling upon one unfortunate situation after the other. The icing on my cake of adversity was when I lost an opportunity that I considered paramount to achieving my goals this year. I wanted to curse and cry and bargain with God. I didn’t understand why I was having so much misfortune on that day. I sat quietly with my thoughts, hoping and praying that another door to the same opportunity would open. Well it did, I found out I could achieve what I wanted through other means but it would be of less value than I hoped to acquire and that broke my heart even more. So I did the only thing I could do at the moment to resolve how I was feeling. I went home and slept!
This morning when I woke up, I was still having a certain heaviness in my heart that I couldn’t wish away. I had to deal with it, so I put my pride aside and asked for help. I reached out to one of my angels. A wise friend of mine who always knows the right thing to say to comfort my down trodden heart. True to the word she stepped up to that reputation even today. I ranted on about how I would stop planning my life because it always led to disappointment. She patiently listened and this is what she had to say…
“You know love… Not planning is planning to fail. So keep planning your life.Just because you don’t do it now doesn’t mean the plan changes. It remains the same just delayed abit. Love, you are bright.. Smart and an amazing person. This is just a setback doesn’t mean it’s the end. You know, everything happens for a reason”…
she reminded me that I had offered her similar advice a while back,as she faced an unfortunate setback in her life and I was amazed. Amazed at how simple words can make you see things in a different light. How words you hear or even utter to others can mean so much at a particular time in your life. Then I thanked God for sending me angels in my life. To remind me that His work in me is not yet done. That this is just the beginning. Although I was hurting,my hope was restored.
So what do you do to relieve day to day stress? What do you do to overcome adversity? Here are a few pointers that I got from my experience:
1. Have someone to reason out with or vent to.
Sometimes all we need, as we go through a difficult time, is for someone to listen to us. I often find that when I talk to my confidants about my problems, I get a chance to listen to myself speak and find a solution. Like I said before, a problem half stated is a problem half solved.
2. Gracefully accept that not everything will go your way.
Many are the times that we get frustrated because we had a plan in mind and it failed to go through as per our expectations.Well, sometimes it’s best to adjust to life’s twists and turns. If something is meant for you,it will come. Just work hard for it without giving up! And when you trip and fall, dust yourself and get back on that race. It’s not over till you get to the finish line.
3.Pray about it!
I don’t know about you but talking to God helps me reason out with myself. It fills me with a rare calmness that lets me know that I’ll be okay. No matter how much it hurts, God has your back! Trust in His work in you. Whenever you feel lost or worthless or even sad, remember who you belong to and straighten up your crown.
4. Let it go
Let go of regret,guilt, that feeling of uncertainty and everything that hinders you from the finish line. Let it all go! Sometimes we’re to busy holding on to things that we nolonger have space in our hands to receive even greater things. Free you hands today!
5. Make decisions based on facts and not emotion
I can be very impulsive at times and I came to realize that every time I got that way, I lost something that I was initially trying to keep or salvage. When you feel hurt or bitter about a situation, take a step back. Sleep if you have to! Cool off and make a more healthy decision. Letting our emotions override our decisions often leads to regret.
6. Take life a day at a time
“One day at a time sweet Jesus,thats all I’m asking from you. Teach me today,show me the way,one day at a time”… Not that I’m trying to turn into a preacher today but I can only imagine what Cristy Lane (hope I got her name right) had gone through before she decided to place such profound lyrics in her song. It’s always better when you take things a day at a time. To each it’s own moment. You can’t solve it all at once hunny! Why are you trynna die? Relax. Do ujjayi breathes and get back on the hustle of life. It all gets better with time.
7.Doing nothing is a decision in itself.
Just like I did in my moment of despair, we are tempted to give up and let life sway us through nothingness. You’re not a plastic bag hunny! Yes, our plans may fail us but make others. Take full control over your life,because at the end of the day it’s your life. It’s now or never. You’re not gonna live forever….and yes, I just quoted Bonjovi.
8. This too shall pass.
This has been one of my greatest mottos in life. Nothing in this life is permanent. Hardships and happiness come and go. So that sadness you feel won’t last forever. Now dry your tears child, and soldier on!
With love and light! 😘😘😘