There’s something about that period between 27th and 31st December, that feels like a weary Sunday evening, when you reflect on how hectic your week might be, after an amazing weekend. It’s one of the most reflective time of the year for me, especially as I grow older. This year, honestly, I’m more confused than ever. The ambivalence is more than overwhelming. I have had a crazy December. I’ve gotten fat eating like a pig!  I’ve spent time with amazing people and the memories are priceless. But…. out comes the sun, and reality dawns…

Everyone wants improvement,  generativity. No one wants to remain stuck. So we strive to make ourselves better. I thought I was doing the same. I thought |I was improving myself until I realized I have been avoiding so much! I’ve been running away from reality. This year has been something! One hell of a roller coaster and without realizing it, I had dealt with so much during the course of the year, that towards the end, I developed a not-so-healthy defense mechanism…I shut out! Its such an awkward feeling to know your problem yet have no idea on how to move forward from it. The scary part? It’s the twenty-freaking-ninth of December. Ain’t nobody got time to get into the new year confused!

Image result for free stock photos about being lost

I am tempted to pull one of my disappearing acts but really, wont I just be running some more? So what is the solution to my current mental state? I’m a christian and I won’t lie…I have no freaking idea!!! For the first time, I have no solution for you guys. For the first time, I might leave this post hanging like this because if there’s one thing 2016 has taught me, is that I don’t have it figured out. That sometimes you just have to go with the flow of life, ride in the confusion. Surf in the waves of apprehension. So is that what I’m supposed to get from this? still loading…

To Be Continued…

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