This weekend a friend of mine was going back to her home town and my friends were shocked to see actual tears running down my cheeks as I said good bye. ” I have attachment issues!” I said dismissively as I shrugged off the whole situation, but the truth that I am aware of ,even as I uttered those words is, I do have attachment issues!
Looking back at my life, I realize that I always fought vehemently not to be attached to anyone. I acted like a mean girl, at times, as a way of retaliation. I insulted and complained about people when they dared to walk out on me, when all I really wanted was to fall apart in tears. I pretended to be a strong independent woman, who didn’t need anybody, when the truth was I couldn’t take the heart ache of one more person walking out of my life. So I claimed that staying single was a choice I made. I claimed that if a friend walked out of my life, they should stay gone!…All this was a defense mechanism. Continue reading