Yesterday was the last day of October, also known for the controversial Halloween celebration in the Western world, though it really seems to be catching on here in Kenya. Personally, I think it’s a holiday that people enjoy because you get the opportunity to be anything or anyone you want! what’s not cool about that? However, that “day of the dead” history to it kind of freaks me out! Anyway, moving on swiftly… So, instead of having a “happy Halloween”, I was pretty much having a “grumpy Halloween” and was indeed tempted to write a long ass blog post and do some serious verbal diarrhoea (or is it literary diarrhoea in this case?!), as a form of catharsis. The thing about me is I get bored really fast!! especially if I’m not mind blown or dazzled frequently or if I’m not learning anything new ( In my Mental wellness challenge! Part 1 blog,you’ll see that was a major contributor to the reason I quit my last job)…
Some may perceive this trait of mine as “maringo” but honestly, I have some major attention deficiency issues. You garra keep me entertained to fully capture my attention. It’s pretty much the reason for my poor choice of men smh. Always after the intrigue, unlocking the mystery *sigh* I wonder why I do some things to myself!…I feel like I am diverting from the point of this post again!..another trait I have, complete scatter brain. Definitely a result of the first trait I mentioned. So before I end up writing down all of my personality traits, let me get back to my order of business today. My Halloween epiphany… Continue reading
First of all, please forgive me for taking centuries to publish this post. I have been up and down up on this grind! know whoramsayyin?? Anyway, on to more serious matters. I had requested that you share with me some of your suicide stories and I want to applaud all the brave hearts that came forward to share their experiences. I would like to believe that sharing is caring,because we get to reach out to a struggling soul somewhere out there in the world and maybe prevent cases of suicide from happening. Do you know how many people take their lives everyday? let me break down the infelicitous statistics to you. Continue reading
I had always believed that I was destined to love and give, cursed to feel every emotion that surrounded me. I believe “they” call us empaths; always feeling emotions that sometimes don’t belong to you,but someone you interacted with or a loved one. Always going out of your way to make the situation right. To save a downtrodden heart. The superwoman of the broken. I always felt obliged to be the bigger person. The one who had to understand others even though I was often misunderstood. That’s what they teach you right? Love and give unconditionally? So I did all that. Mother Teresa would have been proud for sure…but one day I looked at myself in the mirror and I couldn’t recognize the person staring back at me. Continue reading
September is national recovery month. A month that is aimed at promoting recovery of substance abuse and mental illness victims. Recovery takes a lot of sacrifice. It takes a lot of dedication, but what if you take ten steps back…what if you relapse?
In the same spirit of recovery, I want to appreciate someone I consider a hero… my mentor in the mental health advocacy field, Sitawa Wafula, a mental health advocate and probably one of the bravest people I know. She outwardly expresses her battle with epilepsy and bipolar and encourages other people with mental health issues to step up and face it head on. She recently posted a picture of herself , face soaked in tears and she expressed that she had experienced a relapse. That she was having a hard time with her emotional stability and bravely stated that she embraced the fact that in the process of recovery, relapses happen..it’s part of the process.
I write about this today because in a world where it’s almost a taboo to express feelings. To admit that you are not okay, we need brave hearts to show us that it’s okay. I recently relapsed into my depression and it’s not something I would go and announce to everyone. If someone asked if I was fine, I’d smile as expected and say that I was even though deep down my walls were coming down. Today however, I feel I am not alone, thanks to Sitawa. I feel like there are others out there battling with their demons and that gives me the courage to step up and help another troubled soul out there.
I hope I inspire someone today through this post by telling you that it’s okay to not be okay, its okay to fall apart sometimes. There’s nothing wrong with it. It doesn’t make you a bad person , it just means you’re in touch with your emotions. That doesn’t make you weak. It makes you strong! Because pretending to be okay only hurts you. Why hurt yourself to impress others? Is it really worth it? So in the spirit of recovery, embrace the relapse, embrace your flaws then dust yourself , pick up where you left off and proceed with your journey to recovery.
With love and light😘😘😘
“I wanted to write down exactly how I felt but somehow the paper remained empty and I could not have described it any better” Those words, though I cannot recall the author, articulately describe the state I was in (and maybe still in), when I did not reach out on social media,for my daily mental wellness challenge posts or avail any blog posts for my lovely readers.I have been a bit MIA for the better part of this mental wellness challenge, not because I gave up on it. I’m pretty much knee deep into it and it’s proven not to be as simple as I thought it would.
A few days ago I lost my phone,my life line, as I may refer to it. I should have been sad. I mean I had lost my contacts,access to all my social media apps. The word press app that allowed me to write my blog posts on the go, instead of rushing to my laptop each time I had the urge to write. My beloved Snapchat and WhatsApp, which had become like my daily doze of medicine and of course Instagram, that enabled me to communicate with my beloved followers during this mental wellness challenge. I had every reason to be sad or at least disappointed but for some reason, I wasn’t. In fact I was tempted to stay without a phone! My mother was even more upset about how I would be cut off from social media than I was ( This social media craze seems to have caught up with these old folks too, weird!) I, on the other hand, felt a deep relief. I felt like a prisoner on the day of her release, I felt free for a moment. Free from the responsibility of having to communicate to people. If anyone asked why I had been so lost, I could easily say, “Oh! I didn’t mean to, I lost my phone” but why did I feel such an obligation to be social when I wasn’t really in a social context in my life? Why couldn’t I be true to myself and admit that I didn’t want to meet up for lunch or go on a night out? Why couldn’t I admit to myself that I wanted to have a moment of solitude?
Over the years, I have been so accustomed to making others happy that I always ended up putting myself second. If others were happy then I would be happy. Isn’t that how it works? Then why was I surrounded by so many happy people yet still not content? Were the people even as happy as they portrayed themselves to be? The truth is, helping is a good thing but can at times serve as a distraction. A distraction from helping ourselves. We make ourselves busy bodies and always commit our time to a bunch of stuff, not because we have been forced to but because we would rather do that than face the damage inside of us. So as much as I wasn’t in a social mood, I took myself for these meet ups and events and told myself I was fulfilling a social responsibility yet the real truth was, I really needed the distraction. What happens when the distraction is no longer there? We crumble. We hide in our little shells or choose to find new distractions. I chose to look at losing my phone as a chance the universe had offered me to take a chill pill, probably why I felt so relieved. I wasn’t brave enough to take the step but it presented itself either way. I would be a fool to create new distractions for myself. I had to step up and listen to my feelings, to what was preventing me from feeling content. The time had come for the healer to heal herself.
I have chosen to take this time for myself but at the same time I recognize that I have a responsibility to my readers. I really wish I could have something inspirational to write to you, forgive me if I seem out of my element in this post. I could have decided to run away and block out the world but I believe sharing my journey with you is helping a helpless soul out there. Like I mentioned before, there is more beyond us and it is our responsibility to ensure that we impact people’s lives positively, within our ability. It’s all about finding the balance. As much as I would like to share my journey with you each day, I regret the fact that I will be unable to. The journey of self discovery or self healing may sometimes reveal parts of us that we think we are not ready to tackle but the truth is, it would never have been revealed to us if we were not ready. The journey may be hard and uncomfortable. You may be forced to remove parts of you that do not serve you, yet you have lived with all of your life. You may be forced to feel pain that you chose to push away or emotions that you chose to ignore for so long. You may not be proud of some of the things you discover about yourself and you may be tempted to flee, but please, for you own sake,do not. Face each flaw and embrace it. It is all part of the healing process.
There will be days when it’s hard to get out of bed and there will be days when we will be complacent to whatever goes on around us. We may lose friends, we may lose loved ones. We may at times disappoint ourselves and take ten steps back instead of ten steps forward. There will be days when we will want to let ourselves drown but please keep puddling. The shore is around the corner no matter how far it seems. In such moments, we deeply crave direction. We wish we could have some sort of road map in a world that constantly shifts beneath our feet. I leave you with wise words from a great piece of advice that I once received. The truth is that the map is within you and your feelings are your guide posts. We often tend to ignore them because it is hard, it is scary and we forget that there is no other path to happiness apart from the one we create for ourselves. So keep on pushing dear one. I can offer you as much direction as I can but most of the work is on you. If you dedicated yourself to this healing process then do yourself a great favor and follow through with it even though there seems to be no one holding your hand. You are strong enough, just believe it and implement it. Let’s not give up, let’s get something out of this mental wellness challenge together.
with love and light!
At this juncture, I’m sure most of you are wondering what this story has to do with mental wellness but I’m getting to that. Stay buckled up dearies, the train is about to reach it’s station.
So a few days ago in my moments of reflection, I realized the mistake that most of us make in relationships. I’ve personally made it so many times! We fail to acknowledge that a relationship, be it romantic or platonic, is determined by both parties. I know y’all are thinking, “but isn’t that obvious?” Here is what’s not so obvious to the majority of us. We most times, selfishly, expect the other party to always be at the same place emotionally as we are. That’s where the infamous, “I need space” comes in.
Stacey didn’t realize that by breaking off what they had with Nate, she had broken that part of him that vouched for and wanted that relationship. Just because she had resolved her feelings, it didn’t mean that she would automatically beg for his forgiveness and have him eating from the palm of her hand the next day. The desire to fix relationships sometimes makes us to unknowingly cut off the other party from the equation. Not realizing that, half of the relationship lies in the hands of the other party. Healing needs time,time is practically equal to giving the other party space. Nate needed the space to resolve his feelings too. He couldn’t feel what he felt for her before and in the midst of the hurt she put him through, Stacey wasn’t making it any better by suffocating him with her feelings. This in fact, pushed Nate further away!
Here’s where the mental wellness lesson comes in. We all want to have control. Control over our lives,our relationships, basically control over everything. Control is a dangerous obsession, it’s like a drug,a sort of addiction. Take it too far and you can lose everything you worked for or wanted. Just like an addiction, it may not only end up breaking your heart, but your mind too! We need to accept that the control we so desperately seek is beyond our reach. Learn to live life as it comes and to have the patience to accept that which doesn’t work out your way. The one who came up with the statement “my way or the highway” was, in my opinion, greatly mistaken. Or probably heartbroken! Either way, man is not an island. To exist with each other we must learn to accommodate each other’s wants and feelings. Easier said than done, I know. Let me try and make it easier to comprehend. Before you do something, always ask yourself if it was me,would I want the same thing done to me? If I act this way,will I have the right to blame another for how he/she reacts to my action? If I make my bed in this manner, will I able to lie in it? It will save you a whole lot of sleepless nights and mental disturbance.
With love and light😘😘😘
Space, what is space? English defines it as a position of two or more items at a distance from one another. More often than not, I have heard people drop the “I need space” line in relationships. Heck! I’ve been hit with that statement as well! At that moment, all I could think of was, “How can you be so selfish!?” So I give you space, what about me? Do I just put my life on hold as I foolishly wait for you? What happened to dealing with issues now! Or talking things through. Space? It was a term that was incomprehensible to me until a few days ago.
What I’m about to tell you is a story of two friends. One of them happens to be a very close friend of mine (of course I had to convince the hell out of her,to allow me to write about it!) Let’s call them Stacey and Nate. Names are changed for privacy purposes. Stacey is an intelligent, beautiful and crazy fun lady. I’d probably fall in love with her too,if i was a guy! And Nate is equally attractive,smart and totally fun! When these two people were together it was friendship on fire. Stacey had never met anyone who she clicked with to that extent and to much of her surprise,he was nothing that she ever thought she would ever fall for. He was cute yes! But he was younger, his physical attributes were far from what she was used to or liked but she couldn’t understand what exactly it was about him that felt like home,each time they talked or met up.
So the heat builds up, she falls hard for this guy, gets scared and backs away! She eventually pushes him away and this guy adjusts to the situation and steps back. See, Stacey had been hurt before and there is this thing us women do after a break up. We label all men as dogs, we go all fake feminist and kill off any potential feelings for men in the name of being vigilant. Which I think is just the first step to self- sabotage because we push away even the good ones.
Things get so bad that the fire between Stacey and Nate dies off and their friendship dies off. Flames to dust,lovers to friends, friends to strangers. At first, Stacey was okay with her decision and everytime we talked she would tell me it was probably for the best and lists down all the things he did wrong, yada yada yada. At the end of all the self convincing she attempted to do,I hit her with a question that most of us chose to ignore, so as to feel better about ourselves…”What did you do for him to act that way?” Because fact is, every action has a reaction. I could tell she hadn’t thought about it, by how taken a back she was. I gave her the task of doing some soul searching and find out what had gone wrong, what part she played in the situation at hand. Not necessarily to get back with Nate,but for the sake of having a healthier relationship with the next man.
The soul searching gives birth to the realization that she had caused the separation, just as much as he had. She had pushed him away and repeatedly bruised his ego and hurt him. He had taken enough of it. He aborted mission and abandoned ship without really seeking to solve the situation. The thing about dating older guys and then shifting to a younger one,is there is some kind of generational mishap. An older guy is more tolerant of things,or rather with years, he has mastered the skill of passiveness. Some female drama doesn’t phase him . He’s seen so much of it he eventually knows you’ll cut the crap and all will go back to normal but young guys? They’re different. They still have zeal for life and love. They want to feel the fun kind of love! The bed of roses. They know they can move from one girl to another with ease especially if they’re physically attractive. They haven’t yet grasped the concept of being deep with someone or tolerating their flaws and dark side. No, that’s too intense,too serious. Why get hurt when there’re other options? Besides, they have their whole life ahead of them to waste it on one deranged girl (well, that’s my opinion,my theory. Please note theories are not necessarily factual! So don’t take my word as Bible truth lol)
So what does Stacey do after this great realization? She fights for dear life. She paddles hard in the pool of their dying love and friendship. She begs and pleads and professes love. What does this do? Of course push him further away. She comes to me in desperation wondering why he can’t see how much she loves him and wants to work it out. At the moment, I also thought that Nate was being a total asshole for putting Stacey through all that. I could have willingly clobbered him with a hockey stick in solidarity with my friendship with Stacey, but! I had to put away my emotions for a hurt and concerned friend. I had to put on my rational cap. I had to get my psychology on and be as neutral as possible. This was the only way to come up with healthy and useful advice (remember we talked about avoiding emotional-based decisions?)
Why was Stacey acting up? Going all psycho and needy for a guy who wasn’t really what she wanted to begin with?? Well, for starters she had never faced rejection before. I mean who could even dare?! She’s awesome! okay I admit I might have juuuuust a tiny bit of a woman crush for her. Moving on swiftly… She was used to getting what she wanted and was used to dating guys, who she would have fall outs with then easily get back together…but Nate was a tough cookie. He had moved on and moved on like she didn’t mean anything! And that gentlemen, is how you create a psycho! You’re welcome…
She was going in over her head with unanswerable questions and scenarios. Wishing she could go back and change it all, but here’s the thing people! Even if it was possible to teleport back into the past and change things,the truth is something totally unexpected will happen to put you back into the exact situation you are in, presently…and I’m not even ashamed to admit that that is wisdom straight outta watching too many TV shows and reading novels. Either way, I trust it’s true and that’s probably why it’s not possible to go back to the past. There’s a reason it’s the past. There’s a reason things happen the way they do.
There I was! At least I had come up with the first phase of my advice before I could figure the rest out. “Stacey, what happened,happened so instead of trying to fix the unfixable,why not try moving forward?” So she takes my advice and tries to salvage what’s left of their friendship, to start a new. It turned out she had better luck cracking open a coconut shell with a bread knife, than she did getting through to Nate. Poor thing became devastated! Even I, miss solve all situations, didn’t even know how to deal with this one…until a few days ago!
*To be continued*
Whenever I find myself getting sad, I want to lose myself in a book, in a tale, I want to lose myself in profundity…I want to remind myself there is more beyond my world. This time I didn’t have a book so I turned to a TV show called, Being Erica, Maybe it would do the trick. It’s about the life of a lady called Erica (well,the title somewhat betrays the plot) who’s smart,beautiful and amazing but everything in her life seems to go wrong. Considering the kind of situations I’ve passed through these past two days, I could say, I related to it. Erica is approached by a self- proclaimed therapist who has the ability to teleport her into the past so as to rectify moments that she thought influenced her unfortunate future ( It’s not as tacky as it sounds). In doing this, he tries to make her understand that she has the choice to not let her past influence her future. Before this column turns into a TV show review, this is what I’m trying to say. Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.
Yesterday was one of the hardest days of my life. I kept stumbling upon one unfortunate situation after the other. The icing on my cake of adversity was when I lost an opportunity that I considered paramount to achieving my goals this year. I wanted to curse and cry and bargain with God. I didn’t understand why I was having so much misfortune on that day. I sat quietly with my thoughts, hoping and praying that another door to the same opportunity would open. Well it did, I found out I could achieve what I wanted through other means but it would be of less value than I hoped to acquire and that broke my heart even more. So I did the only thing I could do at the moment to resolve how I was feeling. I went home and slept!
This morning when I woke up, I was still having a certain heaviness in my heart that I couldn’t wish away. I had to deal with it, so I put my pride aside and asked for help. I reached out to one of my angels. A wise friend of mine who always knows the right thing to say to comfort my down trodden heart. True to the word she stepped up to that reputation even today. I ranted on about how I would stop planning my life because it always led to disappointment. She patiently listened and this is what she had to say…
“You know love… Not planning is planning to fail. So keep planning your life.Just because you don’t do it now doesn’t mean the plan changes. It remains the same just delayed abit. Love, you are bright.. Smart and an amazing person. This is just a setback doesn’t mean it’s the end. You know, everything happens for a reason”…
she reminded me that I had offered her similar advice a while back,as she faced an unfortunate setback in her life and I was amazed. Amazed at how simple words can make you see things in a different light. How words you hear or even utter to others can mean so much at a particular time in your life. Then I thanked God for sending me angels in my life. To remind me that His work in me is not yet done. That this is just the beginning. Although I was hurting,my hope was restored.
So what do you do to relieve day to day stress? What do you do to overcome adversity? Here are a few pointers that I got from my experience:
1. Have someone to reason out with or vent to.
Sometimes all we need, as we go through a difficult time, is for someone to listen to us. I often find that when I talk to my confidants about my problems, I get a chance to listen to myself speak and find a solution. Like I said before, a problem half stated is a problem half solved.
2. Gracefully accept that not everything will go your way.
Many are the times that we get frustrated because we had a plan in mind and it failed to go through as per our expectations.Well, sometimes it’s best to adjust to life’s twists and turns. If something is meant for you,it will come. Just work hard for it without giving up! And when you trip and fall, dust yourself and get back on that race. It’s not over till you get to the finish line.
3.Pray about it!
I don’t know about you but talking to God helps me reason out with myself. It fills me with a rare calmness that lets me know that I’ll be okay. No matter how much it hurts, God has your back! Trust in His work in you. Whenever you feel lost or worthless or even sad, remember who you belong to and straighten up your crown.
4. Let it go
Let go of regret,guilt, that feeling of uncertainty and everything that hinders you from the finish line. Let it all go! Sometimes we’re to busy holding on to things that we nolonger have space in our hands to receive even greater things. Free you hands today!
5. Make decisions based on facts and not emotion
I can be very impulsive at times and I came to realize that every time I got that way, I lost something that I was initially trying to keep or salvage. When you feel hurt or bitter about a situation, take a step back. Sleep if you have to! Cool off and make a more healthy decision. Letting our emotions override our decisions often leads to regret.
6. Take life a day at a time
“One day at a time sweet Jesus,thats all I’m asking from you. Teach me today,show me the way,one day at a time”… Not that I’m trying to turn into a preacher today but I can only imagine what Cristy Lane (hope I got her name right) had gone through before she decided to place such profound lyrics in her song. It’s always better when you take things a day at a time. To each it’s own moment. You can’t solve it all at once hunny! Why are you trynna die? Relax. Do ujjayi breathes and get back on the hustle of life. It all gets better with time.
7.Doing nothing is a decision in itself.
Just like I did in my moment of despair, we are tempted to give up and let life sway us through nothingness. You’re not a plastic bag hunny! Yes, our plans may fail us but make others. Take full control over your life,because at the end of the day it’s your life. It’s now or never. You’re not gonna live forever….and yes, I just quoted Bonjovi.
8. This too shall pass.
This has been one of my greatest mottos in life. Nothing in this life is permanent. Hardships and happiness come and go. So that sadness you feel won’t last forever. Now dry your tears child, and soldier on!
With love and light! 😘😘😘
By now I hope everyone who’s going through this challenge with me, has set their intentions for the month.To be honest, I kind of had a challenge with setting mine. I’ve been pretty happy and content of late. I kept wondering what I needed to work on so as to improve on my mental health. I needed to make sure that my recent state of euphoria wasn’t a hindrance at achieving my ultimate goal; eliminating negative and unproductive clutter and eventually,achieve inner peace.
I decided to turn my attention to my weaknesses. The things I didn’t like about myself, things I wished I could change but never did much about them. Pretty much some habits that I had grown to be comfortable with,yet had to go!
This weekend,as I chowed down more than 200 grammes of chocolate, ate a whole lot of fries and threw back several glasses of wine, I realized what I needed. I needed discipline.
I have always thought of lack of discipline in a more external context. Like being naughty and going to work late or breaking the rules. I’d like to start thinking of it as a lifestyle,a way of living. The kind of discipline I want? Well,first of all, the kind that prevents me from eating a whole chocolate factory (if it was possible I’d probably do it lol) and maybe learn to eat a bar of chocolate. One that can prevent me from downing a cask of wine and maybe adjusting to an occasional glass. One that will help me cut down on fried chicken, fried foods and that whole lot of junk I love. Food makes me happy! Well so does wine…but it’s more of a temporary happiness. One that would probably lead to getting high and making bad decisions, such as texting/calling that forbidden person or stuffing my face with all kinds of greasy treats and getting fat! What would that lead to? More mental clutter! Something that I want to get rid of this month.
Furthermore, I require a discipline that motivates me to stay committed, consistent and eventually help me be more organized and develop better,more healthier, relationships with those around me. To enable me to walk away from people or things that nolonger serve me and to achieve my goals. That was my intention for the month.
Here are some of the things we could also get rid of and work on to improve our mental health this month:
1. Learn to manage stress
How? Of course that’s the most significant question when it comes to stress management. I plan to dedicate a whole blog post to stress management in my next post. Keep posted…and yes, that is an attempt to keep you in suspense so you can keep reading my blog. Guilty as charged.
2. Healthy diet.
I have a massive problem with diets! I’m sure ye food lovers can relate to this. We would all love to eat anything and not get fat! But that’s not really the case here. Our objective is to improve mental wellness. Did you know that food plays a significant role in the development, management and prevention of specific mental problems? Some of them being depression, Alzheimer’s disease, bipolar, ADHD, just to name a few. Another topic I would like to expound on later. Also! Avoid excessive caffeine, especially after 6pm, to prevent anxiety.
To all those gangster wanabee people out there, it’s okay to talk to people about problems! In fact it’s important to do so. We probably think its better to die with our problems than let people know that we’re suffering or hurt. Well, from now on allow yourself to hurt. It’s not about what other people think. It’s about what you need for yourself to heal and improve your health. It’s okay to not be okay! I’m not saying you pour out your issues on social media,please don’t get me wrong! Find a confidant who you can vent to once in a while. It’s good for the soul. A problem half stated,is a problem half solved.
4.Avoid alcohol,cigarettes&other drugs.
I know I’ll probably lose friends or most of you will unfollow me, merely because of stating that point! But the sad truth, to y’all wine and whisky lovers like me is that these substances and drugs only affect our mental well-being negatively. All the wrong decisions you made and “blamed it on the alcohol” can be prevented by avoiding or realistically reducing, the amount of poison you consume (If I may refer to it as that) Either way, you need to have a sober mind for your cleanse to work out! So it sucks I know! But nothing good comes easy,right?
5. Get enough sleep.
Ever notice how grumpy and groggy you get when you get like two hours of sleep? Your day pretty much becomes longer than you would wish it to be and you become more prone to stress. So getting the much needed sleep is important for our mental well-being. Again,dont get me wrong! I didn’t say you sleep for 10 hours or the whole day! Just enough to keep you functioning with no stress at all.
6.Get a hobby/learn a skill.
An idle mind is the devil’s workshop! When you’re idle, that’s when you remember that lie your boyfriend told you on 3rd July 2014(or whatever) at exactly 7pm. My point? It leads to unnecessary over thinking that leads to stress and anxiety! So get a hobby or learn a new skill,do puzzles (puzzles are known to prevent dementia) and jog your brain to keep it healthy and active.
7.Exercise and meditate.
Put aside at least 30 minutes everyday to exercise or meditate. It clears your mind and helps you get clarity for certain challenges in your life. These practices keep you grounded and help you to center yourself. Most importantly, you shed off those extra kilos you gained when you ate that large pizza by yourself smh.
8.Assess the mess.
What relationships in your life are detrimental to your well-being? What preoccupies your mind most of the time? What distracts you from being spiritually or emotionally fulfilled?
Do some introspection and make healthy life choices by shedding off some negativity in your life! Assess the damage, then set out sort it out.
9.Note your triggers.
After the assessment, you may tend to find that some of our actions lead to certain reactions. So it’s always good to know what sets off our bad habits and keep them at bay.
10. Do something for others.
This is one of my personal favourites. Being there for other people serves as therapeutic. It reminds you that there is more beyond you. That your problems aren’t the end of you and that someone out there needs you just as much as you need someone. It improves moods and definitely,mental well-being. So visit a children’s home or an old people’s home. Donate to a charity. Play with your niece or take out your mum for lunch. Put a smile on someone’s face.
All the best!
Love and light😘😘😘
Did you know that your mental health determines how your body functions? That your mind is the window to your body and soul?
We live in a world full of adversity and calamity,where tragedy is but a daily encounter and loss is something we are forced to face. We’re stressed at work and can barely keep up with the cost of living. A world where we live for weekends and whisky filled Saturdays. There has to be more to life, don’t you think?
Five months ago I quit my job and the risky thing was, I hadn’t even secured another job yet. Of course people around me thought that was reckless of me. Leaving a job without a back up plan, girl you’re crazy! But truthfully, I was tired, I was burnt out. My mental health had to come first or else my life was going to go down the drain of depression and anxiety.I could nolonger wake up and repeat that same old routine. I died a little inside with each attempt I made to stick it out…it was simply detrimental to my mental well-being and to my job too because I was no longer as zealous and productive as before! I asked myself each morning if that is what I wanted to do for the better part of my life and for as long as 6months,the answer had been no,so I decided that it was time to move on. To what exactly? I just didn’t know.
So you would think that quitting my job was the solution,that I would be less miserable but that wasn’t the case. I felt empty and somewhat heavy laden. The problem? My mental state was in a catastrophic mess!! I was dealing with alot. Heartbreak,potential love, insecurities about where my life was headed,quarter life crisis! My emotions were a mess! I pushed everyone away, including my closest friends. I was lost and I didn’t know how to find myself. This story seemed paradoxical to a friend of mine as I explained my situation to him, his main concern being, “but you’re a psychologist” Well, news flash! Psychologists are human too! We aren’t made of stone you know. Sometimes we focus so much on making other people’s lives bearable that we forget we need to get our house in order too!
So I set out on a self- rediscovery journey. To get reacquainted with myself again. I had forgotten the beauty of being alone with myself,checking up on my feelings, asking myself, “are you okay?” And reassuring myself that I could make it through whatever phase it was that I was going through. It was the best decision I made this year.
I learnt how not to speak or make decisions when I was angry or emotional. I learnt how to spot my triggers and how to control them. I even started doing yoga! ( Another awesome decision I made this year) I have been slowly taking back control over my life.
So this brings me to answering the question, why a 31 day mental cleanse? Well, expecting to turn your life around in one instance is unrealistic. You need to test the waters and see if it’s suitable for you to jump right in. If the 31 days prove to be a life changing experience,you can always adapt to the way of living. If you fail at it, there’s always next time. You get back on the horse and try again. So on my next blog post I’ll share some of the stress and anxiety relieving techniques and simple activities that can improve your mental well being! I hope to make the 31 days worth it for you! Stay posted!
Love and light😘😘😘
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